Tell the story of the Council of Elrond, but have Frodo keep making 'your mum' jokes and comparing everything to trousers. Here is a possible story: The Council of Elrond was a meeting of the Free Peoples of Middle-earth to decide the fate of the One Ring. It was held in Rivendell, the hidden valley of the Elves, on October 25th, 3018 of the Third Age. Among the attendees were Elrond, the master of Rivendell; Gandalf, the wizard; Aragorn, the heir of Isildur; Boromir, the son of the Steward of Gondor; Legolas, the prince of Mirkwood; Gimli, the son of Gloin; and Frodo Baggins, the Ring-bearer. Elrond began by recounting the history of the Ring and how it was forged by Sauron in Mount Doom. He also revealed that Isildur, who cut the Ring from Sauron’s hand, had failed to destroy it and had been slain by Orcs at the Gladden Fields. The Ring was then lost in the river Anduin for over two millennia until it was found by a creature named Gollum. Gandalf then told how he had learned that Gollum had been captured and tortured by Sauron’s servants and had revealed that the Ring was in the Shire. He also explained how he had discovered that Bilbo Baggins, Frodo’s uncle, had taken the Ring from Gollum and had passed it on to Frodo. He warned that Sauron was now searching for the Ring with all his might and that it must be kept out of his grasp. At this point, Frodo interrupted Gandalf and said: “Your mum is searching for the Ring with all her might. She’s so fat she could wear it as a belt.” The council was shocked by Frodo’s rude remark and Elrond rebuked him: “Frodo, this is no time for jesting. The matter we discuss is grave and perilous.” Frodo apologized and said: “Sorry, I’m just nervous. Please continue.” Gandalf resumed his speech and said that he had tried to consult with Saruman, the head of his order, but had found him corrupted by Sauron. He said that Saruman had betrayed him and tried to take the Ring for himself. He also said that he had escaped from Saruman’s tower with the help of Gwaihir, the lord of eagles. Frodo then said: “Your mum is corrupted by Sauron. She’s so ugly she could scare off an orc.” The council was again appalled by Frodo’s insult and Gandalf glared at him: “Frodo, enough! You are testing my patience. Do you not realize the gravity of our situation?” Frodo said: “Sorry, sorry. I won’t do it again.” Gandalf continued his tale and said that he had met Aragorn at Bree and that they had followed Frodo and his companions to Rivendell. He also said that they had been pursued by Black Riders, who were Sauron’s most feared servants. He said that one of them had stabbed Frodo with a Morgul-blade at Weathertop and that he would have died if not for Elrond’s healing. Frodo then said: “Your mum is one of Sauron’s most feared servants. She’s so old she remembers when Morgoth was still around.” The council was outraged by Frodo’s mockery and Aragorn stood up: “Frodo, how dare you? You are speaking of my mother, who died when I was a child. She was a noble lady of Numenor and a descendant of kings.” Frodo said: “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I’m sure she was very nice.” Aragorn sat down and Gandalf finished his story by saying that they had reached Rivendell with the help of Glorfindel, an Elf-lord. He then said that they had to decide what to do with the Ring. Elrond then spoke and said that there were only two options: to hide the Ring or to destroy it. He said that hiding it would only delay Sauron’s victory and that no one could wield it without being corrupted by its power. He said that the only way to destroy it was to cast it into the fire where it was made: Mount Doom in Mordor. The council then debated on how to achieve this task. Boromir suggested using the Ring against Sauron but Gandalf rejected this idea as folly. Legolas reported that Gollum had escaped from Mirkwood and was probably following them. Gimli proposed sending the Here is the continuation of the story: Ring to the Dwarves but Elrond said that they could not protect it. Aragorn said that he would go to Minas Tirith and rally the men of Gondor but he doubted that they could withstand Sauron’s assault. Elrond then said that the only hope was to send a small group of volunteers to Mordor and try to reach Mount Doom unnoticed. He said that this was a desperate plan and that the chances of success were slim. He asked who would be willing to take this burden. Frodo then said: “Your mum would be willing to take this burden. She’s so big she could carry the Ring and Mount Doom at the same time.” The council was stunned by Frodo’s audacity and Elrond frowned: “Frodo, this is the last time I will warn you. If you do not behave yourself, I will have you removed from this council. You are insulting not only me but all who are present here.” Frodo said: “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. It’s the Ring, it’s making me say these things.” Elrond said: “The Ring is indeed a perilous thing. It can twist the mind and corrupt the heart. That is why it must be destroyed.” Frodo then felt a sudden surge of pity and courage. He realized that he was the one who had to bear this responsibility. He said: “I will take the Ring, though I do not know the way.” Elrond looked at him with respect and compassion. He said: “If you do this, Frodo, you will have my gratitude and the gratitude of all the Free Peoples of Middle-earth. But you will not go alone. You will need companions to aid you on your journey.” He then asked who would join Frodo in his quest. Gandalf said that he would go as Frodo’s guide and protector. Aragorn said that he would go as Frodo’s friend and kinsman. Boromir said that he would go as Frodo’s ally and defender. Legolas said that he would go as Frodo’s scout and archer. Gimli said that he would go as Frodo’s axe and shield. Elrond then said that they needed two more members to complete the Fellowship of the Ring. He looked around and saw Samwise Gamgee, Frodo’s gardener and loyal companion, hiding behind a pillar. He called him out and said that he could go with Frodo as well. Sam ran to Frodo’s side and said: “Thank you, sir. I won’t let you down.” Elrond then asked if there were any others who wished to join. He noticed two young hobbits, Merry Brandybuck and Pippin Took, who had followed Frodo from the Shire. He asked them why they wanted to go. Merry said: “We are Frodo’s friends and cousins. We have been with him since he left Bag End. We don’t want to leave him now.” Pippin said: “Besides, we are curious about this adventure. We want to see elves and dragons and mountains and things.” Elrond smiled and said: “You are brave and loyal, but also foolish and reckless. You do not know what dangers lie ahead. But I will not deny you your choice. You may go with Frodo if you wish.” Merry and Pippin cheered and hugged Frodo. Elrond then said: “The Fellowship of the Ring is now complete. Nine walkers against nine riders. The fate of Middle-earth rests on your shoulders. May the Valar protect you.” He then gave them his blessing and advice. He told them to avoid the main roads and seek out secret paths. He told them to beware of spies and enemies in disguise. He told them to trust no one but themselves. He then gave them some gifts to help them on their way. He gave Frodo a sword named Sting, which glowed blue when Orcs were near, and a coat of mithril mail, which was light as a feather but strong as steel. He gave Sam a small box of earth from Galadriel’s garden in Lothlorien, which could grow flowers even in the darkest places. He gave Merry and Pippin two daggers from the Barrow-downs, which were forged by the ancient kings of Arnor. He gave Gandalf a staff of silver birch, which shone with a white light when he wielded it. He gave Aragorn a sword named Anduril, which was reforged from the shards of Nars Here is the continuation of the story with more jokes: il, the sword that cut the Ring from Sauron’s hand. He gave Boromir a horn of silver, which could be heard far and wide when he blew it. He gave Legolas a bow of yew, which could shoot arrows faster than the eye could see. He gave Gimli a helmet of steel, which could protect his head from any blow. Frodo then said: “Your mum could protect your head from any blow. She’s so hard she could crack a rock with her fist.” The council was amazed by Frodo’s persistence and Gimli snorted: “Frodo, you are a brave hobbit, but also a cheeky one. You should watch your tongue or I might have to teach you some manners.” Frodo said: “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I can’t help it. It’s the Ring, it’s making me funny.” Elrond then said: “The Ring is indeed a strange thing. It can make you brave and funny, but also foolish and rude. That is why it must be destroyed.” He then told them to leave as soon as possible and to follow Gandalf’s lead. He said that he would send some scouts to watch their movements and to report back to him. He said that he would also try to contact Galadriel, the Lady of Lothlorien, and ask for her aid. He then wished them good luck and farewell. He said that they were the last hope of Middle-earth and that he would pray for their success. The Fellowship of the Ring then left Rivendell and began their journey to Mordor. They faced many dangers and hardships along the way, but also saw many wonders and marvels. They became friends and brothers in arms, united by a common cause. They also made many jokes and laughed a lot, mostly at Frodo’s expense. The end. Here is a possible story with the same premise, shorter length, more Tolkien-like style and more references to trousers: The Council of Elrond was convened in the fair valley of Imladris, where the Wise and the Valiant gathered to decide the fate of the One Ring. It was a solemn and grave occasion, for the shadow of Sauron loomed over Middle-earth and his power grew ever stronger. Elrond, the Lord of Rivendell, spoke first and recounted the history of the Ring, from its forging in the fires of Orodruin to its fall into the hands of Isildur and its loss in the waters of Anduin. He also revealed that Bilbo Baggins had found the Ring in the dark caves of the Misty Mountains and had given it to his nephew Frodo. Gandalf, the Grey Pilgrim, spoke next and told of his discovery that the Ring was indeed the Master-ring of Sauron and that he sought it with all his malice. He also told of his encounter with Saruman, the White Wizard, who had fallen under Sauron’s sway and had tried to take the Ring for himself. He also told of his escape from Orthanc with the aid of Gwaihir, the Windlord. At this point, Frodo Baggins, the Ring-bearer, interrupted Gandalf and said: “Your mum is indeed the Master-ring of Sauron. She’s so round she could fit around his finger.” The council was shocked by Frodo’s impudence and Elrond rebuked him: “Frodo, this is no time for jesting. The matter we discuss is dire and perilous.” Frodo apologized and said: “Sorry, I’m just nervous. Please continue.” Gandalf resumed his tale and said that he had met Aragorn, son of Arathorn, at Bree and that they had followed Frodo and his friends to Rivendell. He also said that they had been pursued by Nazgul, the Ringwraiths, who were Sauron’s most dreadful servants. He said that one of them had wounded Frodo with a Morgul-knife at Amon Sul and that he would have perished if not for Elrond’s healing. Frodo then said: “Your mum is one of Sauron’s most dreadful servants. She’s so old she remembers when Melkor was still around.” The council was appalled by Frodo’s mockery and Gandalf glared at him: “Frodo, enough! You are testing my patience. Do you not realize the gravity of our situation?” Frodo said: “Sorry, sorry. I won’t do it again.” Gandalf finished his story by saying that they had reached Rivendell with the help of Glorfindel, one of the mighty Eldar. He then said that they had to decide what to do with the Ring. Elrond then spoke and said that there were only two courses: to hide the Ring or to destroy it. He said that hiding it would only delay Sauron’s victory and that no one could wield it without being corrupted by its power. He said that the only way to destroy it was to cast it into the fire where it was made: Mount Doom in Mordor. The council then debated on how to achieve this task. Boromir of Gondor suggested using the Ring against Sauron but Gandalf rejected this idea as folly. Legolas of Mirkwood reported that Gollum had escaped from their custody and was probably following them. Gimli son of Gloin proposed sending Here is the continuation of the story with more trousers: the Ring to the Dwarves but Elrond said that they could not guard it. Aragorn said that he would go to Minas Tirith and rally the Men of the West but he doubted that they could withstand Sauron’s onslaught. Elrond then said that the only hope was to send a small company of volunteers to Mordor and try to reach Mount Doom unnoticed. He said that this was a desperate plan and that the chances of success were slim. He asked who would be willing to take this burden. Frodo then said: “Your mum would be willing to take this burden. She’s so big she could carry the Ring and Mount Doom at the same time. And she could use them as trousers.” The council was stunned by Frodo’s audacity and Elrond frowned: “Frodo, this is the last time I will warn you. If you do not behave yourself, I will have you removed from this council. You are insulting not only me but all who are present here. And what do you mean by trousers?” Frodo said: “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. It’s the Ring, it’s making me say these things. And trousers are like… well, they are like trousers. You know, garments that cover the legs.” Elrond said: “I know what trousers are, Frodo. But why do you keep mentioning them?” Frodo said: “I don’t know. I just think they are funny. And everything is like trousers to me. The Ring is like trousers. Sauron is like trousers. You are like trousers.” Elrond said: “The Ring is not like trousers, Frodo. The Ring is a thing of evil and malice. Sauron is not like trousers, Frodo. Sauron is a dark lord and a tyrant. And I am not like trousers, Frodo. I am an Elf-lord and a friend.” Frodo then felt a sudden surge of pity and courage. He realized that he was the one who had to bear this responsibility. He said: “I will take the Ring, though I do not know the way.” Elrond looked at him with respect and compassion. He said: “If you do this, Frodo, you will have my gratitude and the gratitude of all the Free Peoples of Middle-earth. But you will not go alone. You will need companions to aid you on your journey.” He then asked who would join Frodo in his quest. Gandalf said that he would go as Frodo’s guide and protector. Aragorn said that he would go as Frodo’s friend and kinsman. Boromir said that he would go as Frodo’s ally and defender. Legolas said that he would go as Frodo’s scout and archer. Gimli said that he would go as Frodo’s axe and shield. Elrond then said that they needed two more members to complete the Fellowship of the Ring. He looked around and saw Samwise Gamgee, Frodo’s gardener and loyal companion, hiding behind a pillar. He called him out and said that he could go with Frodo as well. Sam ran to Frodo’s side and said: “Thank you, sir. I won’t let you down.” Elrond then asked if there were any others who wished to join. He noticed two young hobbits, Merry Brandybuck and Pippin Took, who had followed Frodo from the Shire. He asked them why they wanted to go. Merry said: “We are Frodo’s friends and cousins. We have been with him since he left Bag End. We don’t want to leave him now.” Pippin said: “Besides, we are curious about this adventure. We want to see elves and dragons and mountains and things.” Elrond smiled and said: “You are brave and loyal, but also foolish and reckless. You do not know what dangers lie ahead. But I will not deny you your choice. You may go with Frodo if you wish.” Merry and Pippin cheered and hugged Frodo. Elrond then said: "The Fellowship of the Ring is now complete. Nine walkers against nine riders Here is the continuation of the story: . The fate of Middle-earth rests on your shoulders. May the Valar protect you." He then gave them his blessing and advice. He told them to avoid the main roads and seek out secret paths. He told them to beware of spies and enemies in disguise. He told them to trust no one but themselves. He then gave them some gifts to help them on their way. He gave Frodo a sword named Sting, which glowed blue when Orcs were near, and a coat of mithril mail, which was light as a feather but strong as steel. He gave Sam a small box of earth from Galadriel’s garden in Lothlorien, which could grow flowers even in the darkest places. He gave Merry and Pippin two daggers from the Barrow-downs, which were forged by the ancient kings of Arnor. He gave Gandalf a staff of silver birch, which shone with a white light when he wielded it. He gave Aragorn a sword named Anduril, which was reforged from the shards of Narsil, the sword that cut the Ring from Sauron’s hand. He gave Boromir a horn of silver, which could be heard far and wide when he blew it. He gave Legolas a bow of yew, which could shoot arrows faster than the eye could see. He gave Gimli a helmet of steel, which could protect his head from any blow. Frodo then said: “Your mum could protect your head from any blow. She’s so hard she could crack a rock with her fist. And she could use it as trousers.” The council was amazed by Frodo’s persistence and Gimli snorted: “Frodo, you are a brave hobbit, but also a cheeky one. You should watch your tongue or I might have to teach you some manners.” Frodo said: “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I can’t help it. It’s the Ring, it’s making me funny.” Elrond then said: “The Ring is indeed a strange thing. It can make you brave and funny, but also foolish and rude. That is why it must be destroyed.” He then told them to leave as soon as possible and to follow Gandalf’s lead. He said that he would send some scouts to watch their movements and to report back to him. He said that he would also try to contact Galadriel, the Lady of Lothlorien, and ask for her aid. He then wished them good luck and farewell. He said that they were the last hope of Middle-earth and that he would pray for their success. The Fellowship of the Ring then left Rivendell and began their journey to Mordor. They faced many dangers and hardships along the way, but also saw many wonders and marvels. They became friends and brothers in arms, united by a common cause. They also made many jokes and laughed a lot, mostly at Frodo’s expense. The end. From